A Few of My Favorite Muggle Things
by LoveDontMeanAThing
Summary: A funny, flirty, and a little dirty one shot. Contains a few of our favorite Slytherin's learning about muggle...panties? Please review and be nice. I hope you enjoy!


**This is just a fun and sexy little one shot about our favorite pureblood wizards learning about a few things that muggles have, that are way better than what you can get from the Wizarding World. And who better to tell them than our favorite muggle born witch.**

 **HPOV**

I was the only one of the 'Golden Trio' to return to finish at Hogwarts, but I got lucky to have Ginny and Luna with me. Headmistress McGonagall allowed all returning 8th years to have their own common room, away from the house they were sorted into originally.

Ginny, Luna, and I were sitting in the 8th year common room talking when Pansy, Millicent, Blaise, Theo, Neville, and Draco walked in.

"Ciao belle signore." Blaise said in Italian. I'd never admit out loud but when he starts talking in Italian it ruins my knickers.

"So Weaselette, Lovegood how did my two favorite seventh year get in here?" Malfoy asked.

Ginny and Luna start giggling and I blush. I swear if these six had come in here twenty minutes ago they would have gotten an eye full. Theo tilted his head to the side, looking at the three of us and smirked.

Luna giggles and says with a wink "Oh you know we know someone."

Her statement surprises everyone but Ginny and I, they only think of her as a girl with her head in the clouds. We know her as a woman with her head well in other places.

"I was just telling them about muggles things and places that you don't learn about in muggle studies. And why the hell don't they have a Muggleborn teaching that class anyway? It's called a cellphone, not a talking phone no. Or whatever the hell that teacher calls it." I say trying, and failing at, trying to distract them. Theo is way to observant.

As they sit down all around us, Theo leans forward and with an eyebrow raised he says, "Oh really and what is it that we aren't taught? I mean we are all pure bloods here, and I sure would like to learn something new and useful."

I knew then that I had two options take the bait and lie, or I could be honest and maybe get something out of this.

"Well the muggles have matching bras and panties, sex toys, and porn." The look on Theo's, Draco's, and Blaise's face were priceless. Ginny started laughing, Luna was blushing. Pansy, and Millie couldn't get out of the room fast enough.

"You're Slytherin green set is my personal favorite. What about you Luna?" Ginny said. The four boys froze, then whipped there heads to Luna.

"I'm in love with her black see through baby doll, but when she wears her purple lace bra with that purple lacy thong. And is all strapped up in her strap on it truly is my weakness. Not even the nargals can make me turn away." I raise my right eyebrow at Theo.

"Wait you guys are together? Like dating? You're a lesbian? What's a thong?" Poor Draco looked like his head would explode.

"Oh goddesses no we aren't dating, but a girl has needs and it's not like there is a guy or guys that will itch the scratch I got. So when all three of us girls get a need we know we can come to each other. Luna and I are bisexual. Ginny well Ginny is straight, but knows who to come to when she wants to be eaten right up. What is it with you wizards and not going down on a girl? We like oral to you know? And a thong? Well I could show you if you want." I winked at Draco.

Ginny couldn't stop giggling and Luna just winked at Neville.

"Accio black thong." My black g string come flying out. I decide that I'm going to slingshot it at them. I aim at Draco and it hits him in the chest. And honestly I never thought I'd see the day that Draco Malfoy blush, and yet today was the day.

"Thhiss is tthhe knickers you wear all day Granger?" I giggle as Draco stutters.

"If I knew you were wearing those under you skirts all these years, I would have tried to get under them. My father be damned." Theo said while smirking.

Ginny, Luna, and I smile at each other. Having a silent conversation between the three of us, Ginny gets up and grabs Blaise's hand saying she would be willing to show him what was under her robes if he wanted. Luna was next, she walked up to Neville and just dragged him into his room. Not that he was putting up much of a fight.

Draco and Theo both are sitting on the couch opposite me wide eyed and nervous.

"Well Granger as enlightening as this conversation has been, I'll leave you and Theo to it." I tilt my head at that. And my heart drops just a little. Maybe he doesn't want me at all.

"Draco you aren't willing to share me with Theo?"

I, Hermione Jean Granger, just broke Slytherin's two princes. Neither of them have moved, spoke, or blink. In fact they are probably going to catch flies with their mouths wide open.

"Well boys on that note I'll be heading to be..."

Before I could finish my sentence. Theo scooped me up in his arms and Draco kissed me. Oh it's going to be an amazing night.

All thanks to some fancy underpants.

 **Fin**


End file.
